Sunday, March 15, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Monday is coming... I'm writing this on Sunday night. My brain does *not* work better at night. I certainly *never* feel sluggish in the morning, sitting at the computer, wondering what in the world I *didn't* do to write about in a hopefully funny, not too uncomfortably honest way. (It's a little scary what comes out at my 'good' time of day sometimes...) So with out further ado, here's this weeks

Come on over, link up at MckMamas and tell the world what did NOT happen in your perfect household. You'll feel right at home.

This week we did *not* have a perfectly wonderful vacation with perfect weather and mostly well behaved children. We did *not* stick our toes in the sand and sea every single day for 6 days straight. If I had, I wouldn't brag about it! Never.

It was *not* Doug's wonderful aunt and uncle who fixed us not one, but two feast in the less than 24 hours we were at their house. They also did *not* have the most comfortable bed I have slept on in my life. Nor did they treat our children like royalty. Our family did *not* leave feeling totally pampered and spoiled. (Thanks ya'll!)

While down on the beach, I did *not* watch Tyler TOWEL DRY and forget to reapply suntan lotion. If I had, I wouldn't have done it on the FIRST day of the week when his skin was most vulnerable. I am always conscious of my children's needs. So that couldn't have been my lobster...err son out there with a crazy mom chasing him down the beach with his hat and shirt every time he took them off the rest of the week. Nope! Not me.

We did *not* pay $40 for our family to be ferried over to an island that was supposed to have good shelling and then not (as in really not) find more than 6 decent shells. Not us! I did *not* feel slightly better when we were treated to two wild dolphin shows. The dolphins were *not* less than 10 feet off the shore. Really, it still doesn't feel real!

I did *not* throw Becca out into the ocean to get the sand off her. She did *not* cry because it was cold. I did *not* have to chase her down the beach in a game of tag to help her get warm. I am *not* so out of shape that there was really no reason for her to fear getting tagged. *sigh* Thank goodness that's *not* true.

I was *not* disgusted by Hope's apparent love for the taste of sand. I did not pull several handfuls of the glorified dirt out of her mouth. Nor did I hand her a shell in an attempt to distract her only to watch her crack the shell. Man, does that girl teeth hard. Excuse me, I mean if that were true, could you even imagine!

I did *not* hurry and pack to leave the house, and forget a whole load of clothes in the dryer. So there was no reason for me to call the owner of the rental house and ask for them to be shipped back. And there was not occasion for a slight (silent) mommy fit when she told me it might be a while before she could ship them back. I'm always more careful with my belongings than that!

On the way home, in a desperate attempt to not listen to a repeat performance of Hope's not so silent fits, I did *not* give her a Girl Scout Thin Mint. And if I had, she wouldn't look like this. Never!

I also would *not* feel bad about the extra attention Hope needed and feel like my older children were neglected and be excited about Doug's idea to get some popcorn and give it to Ty and Becca to make me feel better. I do *NOT* have Mommy guilt.

Also on the way home, I did *not* ask Doug to take both kids to the bathroom in a gas station, only to later find out Becca got stuck in a stall. Daddy to the rescue. We did *not* laugh at his thoughtful care of our daughter. My mom did *not* wonder how Doug knew it was a (her term) "2 holer".

It feels good to be so real. I'm glad things like this *don't* really happen. How 'bout you? What doesn't happen behind closed doors at your house? Head on over and spill the beans. You'll feel better.



*sara* said...

I am not jealous of your beach vacation. And I totally did not each a large spoonful of sand, as a baby, on my first trip to the beach! My mom says that's the day she knew I would always LOVE the ocean.

purplemoose said...

Oh, the mommy guilt!!! Ugh! Ever present and never far away. I'm glad you did "NOT" have such a wonderful vacation. Thanks for visiting my blog!

Amanda said...

Wow!! Sounds like you had a wondeful vacation!! I love that you and I were sitting on a sandy beach enjoying it, as well as our children, as the SAME TIME!!!

Your kids are gorgeous and your tales are endearing! :)

Many blessings-