Thursday, May 28, 2009

I'll take Life for $1000, Alex

Mondays are always fun for my blogging self.The weeks end, a sigh of relief. I am a rather introspective, reflective kind of a person. I enjoy looking back over the week seeing its high points and the ones further south.

This week was very full. School ending, getting settled into summertime routine, meals for friends with new babies, discipline, bedtimes, chores. The dailiness of life often takes over. And so the week started. Mixed with the to dos was the what to dos.

This week, my tongue was silent when there should have been words. Someone I love was hurting, I couldn't find a thing to say.

My mother-in-law is back in the hospital. We got a call from my father-in-law saying that he was going to call 911. The firehouse is just north of us so we heard the sirens as they headed south to their apartment. No one quite knows how serious it is this time. I can not go the hospital. The kids need me home. They cannot handle the roller coaster. Will Grandma live or die. Wanting to know what is happening in Grandma's body. I cannot explain it to them. Again, there just aren't words enough.

Just when I feel unable to cope, I get a fresh breeze. This week it came from my children. They make made me laugh. They made me think. Their curiosity makes me more determined to face life head on. After all, it's quite simple to them. We've got God. He'll take care of it. His plan is perfect.

"Do not hinder them. The kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

It's no wonder God loved to have children around Him.

Children have such a zeal for life that is hard to suppress. Their fears are equally hard for them to suppress. That is where I relate best to kids. I'm a first class worrier. My tears fall as easily as Becca's, though I've learned to hide them better. Although I know to be anxious for nothing, I cannot seem to manage to make it happen. Although He has not failed me, I doubt. I lose heart. My courage fails.

"Take courage, it is I. Don't be afraid." Mat. 14:27

I love that there are so many stories about storms in the Bible. I love the Jesus was in the midst of them. Sometimes He ended them. Sometimes He walked through them.

Take courage.

Trust Me.

The question I feel like I'm being asked is not do I see the storm, but do I see Him. Do I trust Him. Do I believe He is able.

This past nine months have been a roller coaster ride for our family. My mom #2 (mother-in-law) has been in and out of the hospital so many times. We wonder each time if she will make it home again. Time and time again we are surprised by her strength and the plan God has for her life. There are questions in the midst of this storm we want answered. I want to have answers that make sense to my children's questions. To my questions. I want this to make sense somehow, some way.

Instead of clarity, I am getting a challenge.

Trust Me.

When you need help, trust Me.

When you can't go on, trust Me.

When you don't have the words, trust Me.

Take courage, it is I.

I hope your weekend is joy filled. May He bless you with His presence.


This picture is about a year old. Would you pray for Mom. She is fighting hard. We know she wants to complete her work here, but we also know her body is tired. Thanks for lifting her to the Lord. We pray for His good and perfect will to be done now as always.


Amanda said...

I'd be honored to pray for your mom (#2) and your whole family.

I do not know all the details of whats going on with your mil...just hope that you are given a glimpse of the big picture when things change...

God bless-

Lindsey said...

I just found your blog and added it to my favorites. I am praying for your mother-in-law.

Jeri said...

Praying for all of you friend! I agree with is too much. Bless his sweet little heart!

Love you guys,