Thursday, June 4, 2009

Right Now.

No great big thoughts rolling around in my head. No really interesting things happening here. No funny things my kids have said. It's just that kind of day.

I spent two hours sitting by Mom #2 (my mother-in-law) last night. It was strange to sit there and not see her smile. Not see her beautiful eyes. Not a movement, not a sound. She was so full of life last week. It's just not right.

Yet, I know there is a greater plan being worked here. God only knows what work He is completing in and through her life in spite of the coma she is in. What am I to share with the nurses, the respiratory therapist, the aids, the people in the elevator? Who will my father-in-law touch with his words? Who will my husband's presence touch? What is happening away from the hospital?

Mom's life seems so short in so many ways. She could have done many things. She was a great Sunday school teacher. A wonderful friend. Good cook and housekeeper. She loved to shop and throw parties.

On the other hand, how many people were brought to her bedside. How many saw her endure a horrible disease with much grace, much dignity, and much joy. How many were blessed by her warm smile and friendly greeting. How many people did she pray for?

Not much of this makes sense to me. But it doesn't have to. His ways are higher than mine. His thoughts are higher than mine. He knows what I cannot see. He sees clearly while I see a dim reflection. He know the promises of a hope and future for Mom #2 that I cannot see.

Tyler said it well, "I don't understand it. I just have to trust God knows what He's doing."

Becca summed up my heart, "I miss Grandma. I want her to come home."

I don't know where her home will be. If it is here on earth. We will rejoice in our gain. If it is in heaven, we will rejoice for her gain.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed. It means so much to us. We love you!



Laura said...

I'm so sorry your family is going through this difficult time. It's hard not knowing the answers but comforting knowing that He does. Your whole family will continue to be in my payers.

Amanda said...

This was extrememly touching and heart felt Bethany! You have such a gift with words.

I am so sorry... I just don't know what to say. You seem to be thinking and feeling everything just the way you are supposed too... just as God would have you??

I will just continue praying!

God bless-