If I Had A Dollar For Every M&M...

If hearing M&M's makes you think about potty training, you know you're a mom. I'm a little "late" - if you believe in that - about getting ready to potty train Hope. She's smart. She's extremely verbal. She's entirely capable.

And she's my most strong willed child yet. And that's saying a lot.

I wish I could blame my husband's side, but they get it honestly from both sides of the family. I think God knew if either Doug or I married people who were not equally strong willed, the other person would have been in trouble.

SO, Hope. Potty training. M&Ms. And wisdom teeth.

I started working with Hope one day last week. I'm tired of paying for diapers for two. She finally said she was ready to be a big girl! I thought I would have her down in just a day or two. She's already staying dry most nights for pete's sake.

Day two I called a friend, who has two children - one recently becoming a "big boy." After she laughed at me for calling her when I have four and she has two, she gave me her suggestions.

And by the time day three was over Hope was winning. Big time.

So, I turned back to the M&M's for every "accomplishment" and we are slowly getting somewhere. However, there is a funny twist to this for me.

Just before Breeley was born I told Doug I wanted him to have to potty train a child. Just one. I'd do three. He laughed and commented on how nice it was to work sometimes. I believe I punched him. (Jokingly of course!)

And now we come to this. I have to have my wisdom teeth out. And Hope is not yet potty trained. So, Doug will be taking over the watch for the potty dance for the next several days. Unfortunately I'm hoping to be too out of it to be able to watch and see what I can learn from him. :)

Hopefully when I wake from my drugged state sometime next week I'll have a completely potty trained child. If not, the laundry will be calling!

I had a slight hesitation before I published the last post. Whenever I tell somebody (or several somebodies) that I'm being worked on, somehow that area gets picked on. Faith for example. You know, since it's recent and all.

Well, there was major spiritual warfare going on here in my neck of the woods. All because I decided (at 30) I should probably have my wisdom teeth checked to "get the process started."

It's okay, you can laugh.

Apparently it's not so much I should start the process as it is I should have had it done about 12 years ago.I used to want to be a dental hygienists. I loved going to the dentist growing up. I've had almost entirely super positive experiences with dentists.

And then I met a certain, unnamed oral surgeon. I think he felt his calling was to scare me to death. Send all faith the God could help me through this surgery right out of my mind. Phrases like, "I wouldn't want to do this to my sister." "You are in a high risk category for permanent nerve damage." I left that office with more fear than I've experienced in the longest time. Let me tell you, a week of praying and singing praises in my head all night is a good way to grow faith. Sleep just was not happening for me.

I went today to get a second opinion from another surgeon in the area and he told me it was a "pretty straight forward case" and that "he felt very confident" and best of all he will do them all at one time!

All this to say, your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I'm so looking forward to being on the other side of this! I'm hoping to get some pictures downloaded while I recuperate so I can get some get some new pictures of my just turned 7 month old. I can't believe she's this big.

Faith

It's a funny thing.

Faith.

Trust.

Believe.

None of these are my strong suit. I was raised by God-fearing, Bible believing, praying parents. I was taught early and often about God, Jesus and the Spirit. I consider it a privilege that the church I grew up in taught straight from the Bible. Verse by verse. chapter by chapter. Book by book.

I accepted Christ before I can remember. And I have tried to live my life in a way that honors and brings glory to him.

Christian Apologetics were a main stay in my education. I still remember sitting at my desk watching a R. C. Sproul video about holiness. The chills that went down my spine as I began to understand what an amazing God I served. Or listening to discussion on C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters." (Talk about creepy.)

But faith? Faith is not knowledge.

Faith is not a power to wield to get my own agenda stamped with divine approval. Faith is not a guarantee of a positive answer. Faith isn't about me or what I know or what I do.

Faith in my life has been a slippy spiritual concept.

Do I trust God?
Without a doubt.
Do I believe God?
Certainly.
Do I have faith in God?
Not enough.

I've loved Him. I've given my life to him. I've tried to please him. I've tried to hold onto faith even when doubt permeated my mind.

I knew that scripture says "without faith it is impossible to please God." So I tried too have more faith. I tried to muster it up and when I fell flat in a puddle of faithlessness I tried to assure myself that I only needed a mustard seed's worth and it would grow better in a puddle.

I don't know about you, but I've prayed, begged, cried and pleaded with my Savior for something that I knew KNEW would be best for me. And the silence of heaven rang in my ears. Faith is hard.

Faith was especially hard when I thought I needed a feeling to sustain it. When I felt unfaithful I believed the lie that I was unfaithful. When my prayers weren't answered in the manner I had prayed, I believed the lie that my prayers weren't prayed with enough faith.

Oh, how the father of lies must have loved that. And I hate those years, those self-defeating faith destroying lies took.

I prayed for faith, held my Bible on my lap and begged for truth for answers for wisdom. And it would come. I would hold onto to it like I had some power to make it grow. And then something changed.

Me.

My mind.

My sight

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God." Hebrews 12:2

Faith is about God. Faith is about Jesus. Faith is about believing He is who He says He is.

No. Matter. What.

No matter what life throws in our face. No matter what we are asked to endure. No matter what joy, triumph, heartache or pain comes our way.

God is God.

God is good.

God loves us so much that He chose to have His Son die than live without us.

Once again, I'm writing for me. I want to remember in trying times that God is true and trustworthy. That he never fails, even though it may seem like all is wrong. I want to remember and as the pastor of our church often says, "get historical with God." He has been faithful. He has been true to his word in my life. I can have confident faith. I am waiting with expectant faith for his return. I cannot wait for the day he "wipes every tear from every eye." Revelation 7:17.