That's how many posts I've written. What do you do about post#100? Any ideas?
I have been reading my blog list the last several days. Catching up on some. Reading again some of my favorite posts from others. Blogging, I've decided, is a great avoidance technique. :)
I really don't have much to say. For some reason my thoughts are not translating well into words. I have so many conflicting emotions with all that has gone on the last few weeks. I'm really tired, really sad, really glad Mom's in no more pain, really annoyed with some of the family I had to deal with, really frustrated that people can't play nice when they're hurt.
The other night Doug looked at me and said, "This is permanent."
And I guess that's what's hard. We don't know what life without her looks like. We don't know how it's going to feel. I kind of feel like I'm trying on clothes and nothing fits or looks right. Everything is made of the scratchiest wool imaginable and I just can't wait to get it off.
But grief can't be shed like a sweater. So we wear it. Knowing it's impolite to scratch in public. Knowing we carry this around for however long it takes us to find room for the new life we are beginning to live.
I hear her voice and laughter in my mind everyday. I see her smile.
And I miss her.
Thank you to all you who I know and love. Who have come to comfort us. You truly have been the hand and feet of Christ during this time.
Thank you the many of you who I know only through your blog for caring enough to send kind messages and pray for us. Your hilarious words, peeks into real life, and wonderful pictures have been a breath of fresh air.
Many blessings to you all. I know He will return the blessing pressed down, shaken and overflowing.