If I Had A Dollar For Every M&M...

If hearing M&M's makes you think about potty training, you know you're a mom. I'm a little "late" - if you believe in that - about getting ready to potty train Hope. She's smart. She's extremely verbal. She's entirely capable.

And she's my most strong willed child yet. And that's saying a lot.

I wish I could blame my husband's side, but they get it honestly from both sides of the family. I think God knew if either Doug or I married people who were not equally strong willed, the other person would have been in trouble.

SO, Hope. Potty training. M&Ms. And wisdom teeth.

I started working with Hope one day last week. I'm tired of paying for diapers for two. She finally said she was ready to be a big girl! I thought I would have her down in just a day or two. She's already staying dry most nights for pete's sake.

Day two I called a friend, who has two children - one recently becoming a "big boy." After she laughed at me for calling her when I have four and she has two, she gave me her suggestions.

And by the time day three was over Hope was winning. Big time.

So, I turned back to the M&M's for every "accomplishment" and we are slowly getting somewhere. However, there is a funny twist to this for me.

Just before Breeley was born I told Doug I wanted him to have to potty train a child. Just one. I'd do three. He laughed and commented on how nice it was to work sometimes. I believe I punched him. (Jokingly of course!)

And now we come to this. I have to have my wisdom teeth out. And Hope is not yet potty trained. So, Doug will be taking over the watch for the potty dance for the next several days. Unfortunately I'm hoping to be too out of it to be able to watch and see what I can learn from him. :)

Hopefully when I wake from my drugged state sometime next week I'll have a completely potty trained child. If not, the laundry will be calling!

I had a slight hesitation before I published the last post. Whenever I tell somebody (or several somebodies) that I'm being worked on, somehow that area gets picked on. Faith for example. You know, since it's recent and all.

Well, there was major spiritual warfare going on here in my neck of the woods. All because I decided (at 30) I should probably have my wisdom teeth checked to "get the process started."

It's okay, you can laugh.

Apparently it's not so much I should start the process as it is I should have had it done about 12 years ago.I used to want to be a dental hygienists. I loved going to the dentist growing up. I've had almost entirely super positive experiences with dentists.

And then I met a certain, unnamed oral surgeon. I think he felt his calling was to scare me to death. Send all faith the God could help me through this surgery right out of my mind. Phrases like, "I wouldn't want to do this to my sister." "You are in a high risk category for permanent nerve damage." I left that office with more fear than I've experienced in the longest time. Let me tell you, a week of praying and singing praises in my head all night is a good way to grow faith. Sleep just was not happening for me.

I went today to get a second opinion from another surgeon in the area and he told me it was a "pretty straight forward case" and that "he felt very confident" and best of all he will do them all at one time!

All this to say, your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I'm so looking forward to being on the other side of this! I'm hoping to get some pictures downloaded while I recuperate so I can get some get some new pictures of my just turned 7 month old. I can't believe she's this big.

Faith

It's a funny thing.

Faith.

Trust.

Believe.

None of these are my strong suit. I was raised by God-fearing, Bible believing, praying parents. I was taught early and often about God, Jesus and the Spirit. I consider it a privilege that the church I grew up in taught straight from the Bible. Verse by verse. chapter by chapter. Book by book.

I accepted Christ before I can remember. And I have tried to live my life in a way that honors and brings glory to him.

Christian Apologetics were a main stay in my education. I still remember sitting at my desk watching a R. C. Sproul video about holiness. The chills that went down my spine as I began to understand what an amazing God I served. Or listening to discussion on C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters." (Talk about creepy.)

But faith? Faith is not knowledge.

Faith is not a power to wield to get my own agenda stamped with divine approval. Faith is not a guarantee of a positive answer. Faith isn't about me or what I know or what I do.

Faith in my life has been a slippy spiritual concept.

Do I trust God?
Without a doubt.
Do I believe God?
Certainly.
Do I have faith in God?
Not enough.

I've loved Him. I've given my life to him. I've tried to please him. I've tried to hold onto faith even when doubt permeated my mind.

I knew that scripture says "without faith it is impossible to please God." So I tried too have more faith. I tried to muster it up and when I fell flat in a puddle of faithlessness I tried to assure myself that I only needed a mustard seed's worth and it would grow better in a puddle.

I don't know about you, but I've prayed, begged, cried and pleaded with my Savior for something that I knew KNEW would be best for me. And the silence of heaven rang in my ears. Faith is hard.

Faith was especially hard when I thought I needed a feeling to sustain it. When I felt unfaithful I believed the lie that I was unfaithful. When my prayers weren't answered in the manner I had prayed, I believed the lie that my prayers weren't prayed with enough faith.

Oh, how the father of lies must have loved that. And I hate those years, those self-defeating faith destroying lies took.

I prayed for faith, held my Bible on my lap and begged for truth for answers for wisdom. And it would come. I would hold onto to it like I had some power to make it grow. And then something changed.

Me.

My mind.

My sight

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God." Hebrews 12:2

Faith is about God. Faith is about Jesus. Faith is about believing He is who He says He is.

No. Matter. What.

No matter what life throws in our face. No matter what we are asked to endure. No matter what joy, triumph, heartache or pain comes our way.

God is God.

God is good.

God loves us so much that He chose to have His Son die than live without us.

Once again, I'm writing for me. I want to remember in trying times that God is true and trustworthy. That he never fails, even though it may seem like all is wrong. I want to remember and as the pastor of our church often says, "get historical with God." He has been faithful. He has been true to his word in my life. I can have confident faith. I am waiting with expectant faith for his return. I cannot wait for the day he "wipes every tear from every eye." Revelation 7:17.

Birthday Girl!

Hope turned three this past week. All the sudden she seems just so big, asking for a haircut -and to my horror holding her scissors up to her head during craft time. Using bigger and bigger words, playing "big kid" games. I'm just not ready for it. As is my custom (read, since I'm horrible with baby books), here is my letter to her.



Happy birthday, Pumpkin Pie!
You're three! Just as you learned to put those pesky two fingers up on one hand, three has come to bring new challenges and new joys.
You are getting so big. You talk constantly. A friend from church sent a you a birthday card and you jumped up and down with it saying, "It's stupendous." I love the words you come up with...most of the time. :) You love to tell jokes and play word games with people. Although you are beginning to think it's a little to babyish for you, you still play along with the animal sounds that I love to hear from you.

You have gone from telling us Breeley is "kind of like a baby" to being a wonderful big sister. You love to play with her and make her laugh. You are so patient with her when she pulls your hair. You are a good little sister too. There are times that you get into Ty and Becca's things, but you are so generous with your own toys. You have a giving attitude that is a wonderful thing to see.


You love people. After two shy babies, you were certainly a change of pace. This year as we did the Christmas production at church you made new friends everywhere. Running around and handing out your "energy" to the weary adults brought a smile to so many faces. You are good at that, you know? You bring smiles and laughter wherever you go. Even when the smiles and laughter are at your over the top fits.

You have decided you don't need preschool. When I sit down to work puzzles or help you learn colors and counting you tell me no. After all there is more important stuff to do like math and reading. :) You especially love it when the "big kids" have a school project you get to join in. Like the Advent count down chains we made. Your proud grin in this picture makes me laugh.

You hate to be inside, but equally hate the cold. Unfortunately for you, we live where winter is a very cold reality. However summer is your favorite time of the year. You love to swim. And you have no fear of the water. That keeps Mama praying overtime in the summer. You still love bugs, especially ladybugs. Grammy and Papaw just gave you a little stuffed ladybug and I don't think it left you side except for bath and dinner time for a week.

Your favorite books this year have been The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Where's the Green Sheep, and Winnie the Pooh books. You love to go visit "Papaw's" library. He loves it when you come see him at work too.

You and Daddy have an amazing bond. You're two peas in a pod, really. I love the way he laughs with you. It reminds me of how he and your uncle used to laugh together with Grandma Bishop. You are truly a joy bringer.

Hopey, I'm so proud of you. I love your heart for others, your generosity, and how much you want to please God. I can't wait to see what God has in store for your sweet little life.

I love you,

Mama

A Belated Thanksgiving

Doug and I headed back to my hometown over Thanksgiving weekend. While we spent the actual day with his family on the other side of our state, we decided to go 'home' to see my family and especially my oldest sister and her family while they were 'home' as well.

Can I just say, it was crazy. Fun. Full house. Lots and lots of kiddos running around, shrieking, giggling, fighting, playing, deciding who was spending the night with whom. Staying up way too late. A baby way off schedule (thankfully she's very adaptable). A wood burning stove getting delivered...sort of. A birthday party squished into the middle of the chaos making crazy fun even crazier fun. And then came Sunday. I got up tired...and a slight bit grouchy. One kid had a icky stomach and I almost stayed home from church with her.

Almost.

If I had I would have missed God speaking directly to me. The sermon that Thanksgiving Sunday, preached in the church I grew up in has been on my heart so heavily these past few weeks. The message my dad preached has touched me deeply. The scripture was Psalm 116 -

"I love the Lord,for he heard my voice; for he heard my cry for mercy,

Because he turned his ear toward me, I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangle me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was over come by distress and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD, "LORD save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous, our God is full of compassion.

The LORD protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return to your rest, my soul, the LORD has been good to you.

For you, LORD, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

I trusted in the LORD when I said 'I am greatly afflicted'; in my alarm I said 'Everyone is a liar'.

What shall I return to the LORD for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful ones.

Truly I am your servant, LORD. I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the LORD - in your midst Jerusalem.

Praise the LORD."

I've heard God speak to me in a still small voice.

I've had Him speak to me in ways I couldn't miss, but never would have expected. Like the time I was begging Him to let me know that He really loved me. This sounds really, really odd but He called me "sweetie". Yep, that was unexpected.

Then there has been time when I expected to hear His voice. I waited with eager anticipation for it, and instead there was blessed silence. I felt Him. It was the closest thing I've experienced to a heavenly hug. Silent and present. Something I often need from Him.

And then there have been times where I got a spiritual slap. Even more unexpected then some of the thoughts I've heard were the times I got a little too audacious with the LORD. A few years ago I was praying for a miracle for my brother-in-law. I was mad. Mad that Jim had cancer. Mad that loss was a part of life. Mad that my mother-in-law was sick. Mad. Mad that God would let this happen. Mad that sin had to be a part of life. Mad the the world He had created to be beautiful wasn't looking so rosy. Mad that I was dealing with post-partum depression and couldn't just enjoy my baby girl.

And I told Him.

And He told me.

"If you just want someone to do what you ask, go get a dog."

That has stayed with me as I've walked with Him. And now there are new bumpy roads to walk. Roads that I would never choose to travel. But I'm on them. And He's with me. What's even better is He's before me and behind me.

As my dad preached that Sunday, he read this Psalm. He talked of our need to praise and thank the Lord no matter our circumstances. That thanking him and praising him opened the way to the throne room. That thanksgiving and praise sometimes just have to be a matter of the will.

But what had the hairs on my arms standing on end as God spoke to me through my earthly Daddy was this. Matthew 26 tells of the night before the crucifixion. After Jesus had eaten the Last Supper with his disciples they "sang a hymn." Psalm 116 is one of the hymns. To read the Psalm and know that the One who died for me sang praise to His Father before being betrayed, beaten, mocked, spit upon, nailed to a cross, and left utterly alone humbles me. If He could thank His Father and sing praise to Him, no matter what my life circumstances are, I can too. I get to choose. I pray He gives me the grace to keep praising Him. To keep thanking Him. To press close to His wounded hands and pierced brow so that I can remember, so that I will never forget - He alone is worthy.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

"Give THANKS to the LORD for He is good.

His LOVE endures forever."

Praying wherever you are you will have a blessed, joy filled Thanksgiving.

Things That Make Me Laugh

Yesterday:
Tyler went with Doug to help build the set for our church's Christmas production. He was so excited to be big enough to help. Doug told me later the man in charge asked Ty to show him his hands and declared them "working hands." Tyler said, "Yeah, I've got country feet. I can run on gravel."

Today:

For penmanship Becca was supposed to be writing the names of her favorite songs. "S" was the letter of the day.

"Helling Ran" anyone?

Tyler was working on spelling and was having trouble with woman and women. I tried to explain. "You can spell man, right? You can spell men, right?" He nodded affirmatively. Woman/ women is just like those words but with "wo" on the beginning." I love when I can see understanding dawn on their face. And then I derailed. "It's because God created woman from the man's side." The look on his face was priceless. "But,...aren't they just born now?"